


In-Law

by tirsynni



Series: Sex and Other Discussions [2]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Alphonse's life is hard, M/M, Mild Gore, Mild Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-28
Updated: 2017-03-28
Packaged: 2018-10-11 22:19:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10475673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tirsynni/pseuds/tirsynni
Summary: “Ling,” Alphonse said calmly, “get your face away from my brother.”





	

**Author's Note:**

> The sequel from livejournal.

Alphonse Elric’s fist made a very satisfying noise as it crunched Ling’s nose-

No.

Alphonse Elric’s fist made a very satisfying noise as it crunched Ling’s _balls_ -

No.

Alphonse Elric’s _foot_ made a very satisfying noise as it _squished_ Ling’s balls-

Yeah. That one would work nicely.

But first . . . 

“Ling,” Alphonse said calmly, “get your face away from my brother.”

From where he _still_ had his face pressed against Edward’s thigh-well, really it was closer to the knee, but it was still too high, dammit!-Ling whimpered and squirmed. Alphonse had to admit, there was something very satisfying in watching someone squirm. His brother was squirming a little bit, too, and sputtering frantically. Dodging his brother’s flailing automail limb, Alphonse reached around Ling’s sprawled form and tossed a blanket over his brother. He really didn’t want to see his brother like that, and Ling definitely had no right to see his brother’s naked form.

Ling squealed like a stuck pig as a portion of the blanket covered his head. Reminded of the exact location of Ling’s head, Alphonse grabbed Ling’s loose ponytail and yanked. Ling didn’t move. Alphonse glared. “Ling,” he growled, “ _get away from my big brother!_ ”

Even as Ling shrieked, Edward snatched Alphonse’s wrist. “He’s stuck! The-the metal’s cold and _Alphonse Elric, get out of here **right now!**_ ” 

Anger replacing embarrassment, Edward crossed his arms and scowled at his little brother. Finally releasing Ling’s ponytail and ignoring the prince’s sobs, Alphonse crossed his own arms. Considering Edward was still naked and sprawled across the bed, Alphonse proved to be more intimidating.

“I’m not leaving until he does,” Alphonse retorted. “Why were you letting him _touch_ you?”

His brother’s nipples were erect. Alphonse would have blushed if he could have, and at that moment he was happy that he couldn’t. His big brother was naked, Ling was equally naked, the two were in a compromising position, and his brother’s nipples were erect. 

“Why do you _think_ I was letting him touch me?” Edward snapped. “We were _trying_ to have sex, and you don’t need to see it. _Out!_ ”

Ling whimpered and scratched at his tongue. The brothers ignored him.

“With him?” Alphonse demanded, disbelieving. “Why _him_? Couldn’t you find someone better?”

Pausing in his efforts to free himself, Ling squawked indignantly. When neither brother glanced at him, he curled up against Edward’s metal leg and sulked.

“Like whom?” Edward shot back. “The colonel?”

Ling perked up at that, but Alphonse almost howled. “No! He’s too old for you! You need someone better, someone who can be there for you. Someone like . . . someone like . . . Danny Broche. He’s nice.”

Not recognizing the name, Ling stared longingly at the crotch inches from his nose. The blanket covered it, but Ling knew _exactly_ what the blanket hid.

Alphonse huffed at Edward’s flabbergasted look. He didn’t know what was so wrong with the suggestion. Lieutenant Broche was a very nice, caring man who would do his brother worlds of good. He was far better than someone Edward furiously and often referred to as a mooch. Undoubtedly Ling was only interested in his brother for the Philosopher’s Stone and . . . and . . . and _sex_ , and his brother didn’t need a greedy -  


“You don’t need to be thinking about any of that!” Edward snapped after a long pause. “I’m perfectly content with _this_ choice-” Ling huffed at the word ‘content’-“and anyway, you don’t need to be thinking about _anyone’s_ sex life. Now _get out_!”

Alphonse slammed his hands onto his hips and began citing Broche’s attributes as compared to Ling’s and how Broche could make Edward happy-which was something he _had_ to think about-when he noticed the covers moving by Ling’s head. Snarling, Alphonse grabbed Ling’s ponytail and _yanked_ , uncaring of Ling’s agonized howl, the wet, fleshy _riiiiiip_ , and how a slightly bloody imprint remained on his brother’s automail. Edward squawked as the blanket flew off and he hastily yanked it back. 

“Fine!” Alphonse snapped. “I’m leaving. And _he’s_ coming with me!” 

Ling was still whimpering and clutching his face, but Alphonse didn’t care. Dragging the older youth by his ponytail, Alphonse stomped out of the room. Unsurprisingly, Ran Fan was waiting for them outside the door, first aid kit in her hand. Alphonse shoved her master at her. Not waiting for either’s response, he stomped down the hall.

No one would notice if he took a bit of metal from the air conditioner. Right now, Ling needed a chastity belt. 

And until his brother developed better taste in men, Alphonse thought grimly, he might need one, too.


End file.
